My Invisible Camera

Sometimes I face a dilemma that I know a lot of mamas/photographers face, “Should I bring my camera with me?” As a mama I sometimes feel like it’s more important to just be in the moment, to be present, and enjoy my kids. For instance, this week Vader and I took all the boys roller skating. I LOVE skating and would never relegate myself to the sidelines to just watch. I want to be in the thick of it. Trouble is being in the thick of it is kinda hard to do with a camera in your face. I actually stopped photographing Vader’s derby games for that very same reason; I would get caught up in the photo taking and would miss his great plays. But then there’s this photographer who gnaws inside me and later on will say something like “That was an amazing day! Don’t you wish you had a picture of it to save for all posterity, post to your Facebook and Instagram, and perhaps make into a 16 x 20 canvas to display in your home?” (Yeah, my inner voice tries to upsell me, she’s a saleswoman.) Sometimes I feel as though my beautiful day didn’t happen if I didn’t take a photograph to capture it in some small way. I wish I had an invisible camera; an ultralight amazing digital camera that I could carry everywhere with me, that won’t be heavy or cumbersome or in my way and tadah! would show up whenever I needed it and would disappear just as easily. So the other day when I was skating around the rink, pushing Finn in his running stroller while he kicked his feet with absolute joy because he likes the feel of wind on his face just like his mama, I decided that I would force my mind to be my invisible camera. On occasion, when I can’t have my proper camera or even my iPhone I will try to remember every little second and then relay it here. Now if only I can figure out a way to get a lasso of truth and an invisible plane….

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